the change in me was so incredible. Within 34 days my husband said you're blowing. He said this is, I mean you just underwent surgery said you should be in playing, you should be lying down whatever I started glowing and two weeks later when we went to my neurosurgeon, he was pleasantly surprised to see my scan and he said like, I don't know what you're doing, but the bleeding is reduced. He said you're not yet out of danger, but at least I can tell you that you don't need immediate surgery. So let's give this summer time. And I remember telling him, I don't think I'll need any other surgeon. Right. I'm convinced I'm going to become and that was it. Mhm Yeah. Hello everyone. My name is Khan and the host of the show inspired someone today. This podcast links in personalities from a cross section of our society for which share the perspectives, learnings hags and experiences that can inspire all the first in our journey's come join me on this line. Yeah. Forget making fresh starts how many of us can just stand up when life knocks you down.
We have a special yesterday who shares her boat with destiny and how she has come out winners and committed to a new inspired life. Welcome to the show. So that thank you. It's wonderful to be here. Thank you. So the help us to kind of give a brief about who your what inspired you to kind of do things that you have been doing today and as we kind of get into the show will unravel the new uh pseudo that we have been kind of exposed to in the recent past. Sure, so um so my name is with her something, my husband and I are based out of Bangalore India. We live here with a little beautiful eight year old daughter um for the last 20 years I have been in the, working in the I. T. Industry in Bangla, predominantly my focus has been HR technology. So I have worked with stakeholders across geographies um in building HR products, learning products in particular is what I would say. That's a quick intro about me, but I'm sure that's not what we're here to talk about it. So your speaker to lead the way, So 20 plus years of experience in the technology space and you chose to kind of do something else which will get to it shortly and my connection, with you was to.
he was wonderful blog. I noticed a burrata which stands for arrays al gina that was courageous and a very, very touching story to hear. Can you just walk us through what made it enough? Right? It and the story behind the story. Sure. So this is this is a very personal income, right? And but I've decided to share it because I think that in today's world, especially with Covid and so many depression stories that you hear, I thought stories of people coming out of challenges is equally important for people to hear as well. So around two years ago, to be precise, on 3rd October 2018 I was diagnosed with what is called a subdural hematoma. I had acute bleeding in the dura region of my brain and because of the pressure caused by the bleeding, my brain had started shrinking and my cT scan was was something to behold. When I first saw it, not only had, you know, my brain started shrinking, it had slightly built it, it was terrifying to see it, not only for me but for my family. So we met some of the finest neurosurgeons in Mangler at that time.
Um But the prognosis was the same. Uh you know, consistently, all the neurosurgeons told me they were surprised that I'm still standing uh that I was walking, That I was the one who went to the doctor. Uh you know, my husband join me later, but the fact that I was leading a normal life and they told me that ideally someone like me in their professional experience should be informer, which thankfully I wasn't. So I was wheeled into surgery uh brain surgery. They try to extract the excess blood from my brain and I went through the surgery I thought that was done. But unfortunately the bleeding continued, I had to undergo a second surgery within 10 days. Another emergency surgery. And even after extracting blood for the second time, for some reason, a membrane and my brain just continue to bleed. And no one you're white, you know, for all our advancements in medical science, right? In neurosurgery, Some things just have no answer. Like I was leading a normal life. I hadn't had an accident. I was just predominantly working from home. I hadn't hit my head anywhere.
So nobody knew what cast it and nobody knew how deep they had to go into my head to fix it. So one fine day my surgeon, he, you know, we have to come face to face with with reality. So my surgeon told my husband and me that I think you may need to undergo a third surgery. And even after that, if the bleeding continues, we may have to maybe crack open like a portion of your brain, which is terrifying for me and access the portion where you know, the bleeding is happening and fix it. So obviously the first reaction was shock, right, disbelief. And uh, why me? Why is this happening to me? What have I done to deserve this? I've let it, you know what I think is a good life, right? I have not harmed anyone deliberately. So, you know, you have all these philosophical questions that come to your mind and I really slip and I gave up and I said, that's it. You know, I am done with all the pain. I think it's easier for me to just go and not have to undergo so many surgeries, right? And cause so much pain for my family. Around that time, you know, I had actually started reading some positive stories and I wasn't allowed much television or anything, but I, I used to play youtube videos on positivity and you know, keep listening to them to keep myself positive.
And somewhere around that time I had seen some videos on how you can think positive thoughts and how you can actually change your reality. Now, personally, at that time I thought it was so far out there, right, like so new agey, so far out there. I wasn't sure if it would really help me, but I had two weeks, I was under observation for two weeks. I was told, you know, you have to undergo your third surgery in two weeks if nothing improves. So I decided I'm going to give this a goal And I will give this 100%, I have nothing to lose. Let's see where this takes me. And from the depths of despair, I pulled myself out and I said I'm going to do this, I'm going to stay positive. And I made a list of all the things that I wanted for myself, you know, that I should recover completely, that I should come out of this, that I should regain my health and vitality and you know, completely recover from this situation. Initially, it seemed like nothing was happening. Um I continue to say these positive affirmations, sometimes everyone are when I was eating my food and I was drinking water.
I had heard about how water and food also has prana prana energy power and how it absorbs your positive thoughts. And there's, I mean, there's a lot of study out there. You can just youtube um or check on google. So I started doing all of this and I actually started believing that you know, I, there was a point of time when I was at a stage when I was so positive that I told myself I am recovered right? There's nothing more to do. And it was incredible to be honest. The change in me was so incredible. Within 34 days my husband said you're blowing. He said this is I mean you just underwent surgery said you should be in pain, you should be lying down. Whatever. I started glowing and I stopped people who were negative from meeting me. Like I would just refuse to talk to them on the phone. I would, you know, I didn't matter to me what they thought about me because I wanted to give this 100%. So people who would come home and sob and say, oh, this happened to you and all that nonsense, right? I just cut them out of my life for that period at least. And little by little my brain started easing itself. And two weeks later when we went to my neurosurgeon, he was pleasantly surprised to see my scan and he said like I don't know what you're doing, but the bleeding is reduced.
He said, you're not yet out of danger, but at least I can tell you that you don't need immediate surgery. So let's give this summer time. And I remember telling him, I don't think I'll need any other surgeon, right? I'm convinced I'm going to recover. And that was it. From then onwards. I think my entire recovery took nine months in the end of August 2019. My doctor just smiled at me and he said, if you don't know what cast it, we don't know why the complications came. And I'm still wondering how you got out of it. But you know, I did everything that he asked me to, I took the medicines. It's not like I was only doing positive affirmations, right? So I don't want to walk out of here thinking, leave everything just to positive affirmations. You know, my my the way I had responded to it was thought speech and action, right? So I whatever I did, whether it was taking medicine, drinking water, eating food, everything would lead to my recovery. That's how I was looking at my life in that nine months. So I took medicines, whatever here at the doctor asked me to breast, you know, not much tv everything. But in addition to it, I was in such a positive frame of mine that I think I completely recovered by the end of august 2019.
Well I'm speechless one for somebody to kind of have the courage to share that story, lever those kind of going through that itself is trouble and it's kind of come out of your time, share that story, hacks off the courage to the thank you. You know, it's not an easy story to share. And uh a lot of times, the initially when I wrote the blog of Sparta, I wrote it Morris catharsis. Um, but then, you know, you hear about celebrity suicide stories, people who go to the brink of, you know, the depths of the abyss and they just don't come out. But that's not all right. You can come out of it because you are your own friend and your own enemy. And I am hoping even though the sounds New Agey and far out there, this is not that New Agey, you know, our ancients have been saying this as as long as I can remember every punishment that you read or you know, every spiritual book that you read talks about the strength, the power of your mind, how incredibly powerful your mind is. My intent of sharing this is to help people.
Okay, and so they're touching on dark. You do also mentioned that you live your life in your head and I'm sure a lot of it has also got to do with the positive information that you have done, the exercises that you have done from there? Anything that you can share some there on what has happened with life for 2019. How do you kind of continue to live your life in your head? So it's not easy. So when you have imminent, you know death or imminent surgery in front of you, obviously something in your shifts right and your focus is better and you do it. But now, but when you come back to normal life, you are bombarded. You are bombarded with a lot of stimulation, right? So it's not easy. I am human after all. But my biggest lessons from what I experienced, I mean, I I learned a lot but I I categorize them into these four categories and I try to live by the first thing is life is a gift. Life is valuable, but life is also finite and you need to live your life fearlessly. So most of us live our lives like it's a sure right?
But it's only when you go through something like this, you realize how incredible how valuable life is every minute every second is an opportunity for for you to reinvent yourself, For you to do the things that you love most of us have brought up on a diet of fears to fear what people think you feel what you do. But if you replace that fear with love right? There is nothing that you cannot accomplish. Don't feel. Making changes to your life. You have to make it lovingly. Sometimes you have to make it ruthlessly. You have to align to your best and highest version of yourself. And that's what I try to look like, right? My life is my masterpiece and your life is your masterpiece, right? So you should, if you're creating a masterpiece, if you're painting a painting, you will be so careful about paint, you choose the color you choose right? Where you put it. Your life is like that. It doesn't really matter what other people say a thing, right? I would say, just drop that. The second thing that really I try to focus on his love and I know again, right? When you say focus on love, I'm not talking about loving others. I am talking about loving myself as a person. This was very hard for me, right? From childhood, You're told love, others be kind to others.
Nobody tells you be kind to yourself, right? That's given is what I think. I think it's very important to be kind to yourself to love yourself. Because when you love yourself, you will do what makes you happy and the more you love yourself, the more you have to give others. The third thing that I think I touched upon in my blog as well as you live your life in your head and therefore when you know that you live your life in your head, you need to make your head beautiful. You would never throw junk in your house, right? You will never throw garbage in your hall for example. Oh no! Your dining table. We take such great care to make our houses look clean. But when it comes to a head we are constantly loading our brains with stuff. We watch entertainment that borders on violence. We consume content. That is vulgar, sometimes loaded with gender bias and racism, Right? What is the need for it? Keep your head clean. Yeah. And you know this, I know this is easier said than done, but do what it takes, right? Like. But some people meditation helps them yoga helps them keep removing stuff. Keep clearing the cobwebs in your head. Just like how you would clear the cobwebs in your house. Do it every day, right? Keep clearing it, Keep clearing it.
Your mind should be so sharp that you're only doing the stuff that you love because life is you don't do. Short life is finite. You only have time to focus on the things that you love and nothing else. You owe it to yourself. The last and the most important thing I would say is be as you as you can be. Now. I know it sounds a little bit like Libya under here. You know that me, me me thing. But my take on it. This. You don't have to be anybody else. You just have to be you because you are unique in yourself, right? So shine your light as brightly as you can embrace your uniqueness, embrace your quirkiness and love yourself on condition. So these four things I try to live by, it's very hard to be honest now that I'm not closeted in my house, right? I keep meeting people and you know, you're bombarded with different types of people, but when there's stimulus rate, I just come back to where I need to be. Keep centering myself. I think there was a reason for you to kind of start thinking positive, have a positive affirmations now, you have kind of gotten out of it.
Normal life, everything is working on well, but how hard it is to kind of practice something that you kind of made it as a new rule of life. If you think it's hard, it's hard. If you think it's easy, it's easy again, You live your life in your head. So I'll give you an example right? Uh even with my life, I have made a conscious choice to leave the corporate word. I love my job. I mean I was one of those blessed people who was actually doing what they love to do. But after my realization, you know that life is finite and there are many things I want to do with my life. I have my pocket list and I I made a choice to leave the corporate world to follow my bucket list, right? I want to work in the, in the field of education, you know, I want to do a few things, I used to be a professional singer before I joined the corporate work. So I'm trying to dabble with singing, but it's hard because you know, you know where you want to go, but like I said, you're constantly bombarded so there are people who will tell you stuff right, because they are insecure about themselves. So it is hard, like I said, if you think it's hard, but if you think of it as oh, you know, this is something I need to do, so put it into practice just like anything else.
So the minute someone says a negative thing towards you, right, you just sent it back to yourself and say that's fine, that's their opinion. That's not my reality. My reality is I'm going to do this or my reality is that, you know, I want to focus on this any time there's a negative thought, replace it because it's hard for you not to think of the negative part, but as with any habit it's easy for you to replace it, if that makes sense. Like when your diet and think of it, when you're trying to diet right, you can't have ice cream. So you go to corner house ice cream powder, you can't have ice cream, but you can replace it with a fruit salad, you get what I'm saying, just like that, replace to promote back to what you want to do by finding alternatives, yep, correct, correct. I think one other piece, I'm sure that is there in a lot of our minds is when you're kind of going through a situation like you had, there are a lot of fears and self notes that will battle. You came a close positive affirmations, thinking positive all of it. But deep down you still have that field.
You still have that self doubt. How did you overcome it? Ah That's a great question. So the day I heard that I was going to have the third surgery, I actually sank into the abyss. I cried my heart out. I wept for eight hours straight. I went to the extent that there were no more tears left in me. You know, and it's only when I reached the bottom, what I thought, you know was the bottom pit, bottom most portion of the I realized it's a bottomless pit. So that realization actually changed me. I realized that and it was a split second realization that if I have to keep falling, I can keep falling. I think it's the worst, but I can fall to the extent that you know, maybe I slip into depression, Maybe I, you know, I take my own life. I don't know you hear so many instances of people slipping. I think the fact that I reached a point at least in my case I reached a point from where I chose to ship, I decided that enough is enough. No one writes my destiny. I write my destiny. I think that was a shift now, I, you know, some people do it and we are, some people don't vote us, right?
Some people do it instantly. They don't take no for an answer. And some people never do it right? But I think you should never give up because you are here for a reason right now. Whatever your belief system is, whether you believe uh that when you die, you go to heaven or you believe that you die and that's it, right? You don't come back at all or you think that you die and then you will be reincarnated, right? Whatever your spiritual drin religious beliefs, sir, you know that life is finite, you are here for a reason. You have been given the gift of life. What do you do with it? Are you going to give up or are you going to fight? There are only two options giving up to me is not an option. You have to fight at the end. And I think that realization is what is what helped me very beautiful, beautifully put across. I think promoting into, I don't want to develop too much into what has happened. But again, with that have also been inspired to pursue your passions. As you said, you're kind of finding the other side of the creative side of you wanting to do something in the education sector, what is that? And how do you kind of plan to give shape to this?
So at this point of them things are a little fluid. So from a teaching perspective there are, there are many avenues open, right? I could uh teach in a proper school, maybe I teach with an NGO, there are many things that I could do. Um but my interest is more towards making education available and accessible to Children in the rural parts of India. Um and again, I came back to my skills. So there are many brilliant teachers out there. I don't profess to be a great picture, but what I am good at is uh I have helped build technology out there in the field of learning and I think I'll do well in the education technology or exotic feel because I, you know, I have that reasonable expertise. So I'm looking to work with some organizations in the field of education and help them pivot their education right model to more students. But but my focus at this point of time is in the rural parts of India to begin with. So some conversations happening there and I, you know, I'm trying to put a like a position paper in place to see what can be done and you know, how changes can be done.
So I'm I'm consulting right now um things a little fluid, but I think they will take shape hopefully in the next few months. So you're keeping fingers trust uh huh and that's a great impact sector, I'm sure you'll developed. Thank you. So that if I were to ask you save a few years down the line, if somebody were to approach you and say so that we are going to make a book on you. What do you think would be the title of that book? That's a great question again. Mm for now I would say with Bishop Harry to arise Arjuna. That's what I would say. I would say arise Arjuna because Arjuna I think and the reason I would say Arjuna is people are familiar with with Arjuna. Arjuna as a as a character, right? As a part of India's rich heritage and therefore I think they will resonate with it. And the story is really not about soda or you know about I think we are all just cause an appeal is what I feel right? So my intent would be the more people that reaches right, the book reaches the modern fact makes. So I would perhaps make the title or is original so that it can resonate with more people.
Yeah, wonderful. And I do see that you use a lot of metaphors related to Mohammed to anything else that had a profound impact on you. So when it comes to Bhagavad Geeta, I have read the package together many times in my life, First time I read the part about it was I think when I was young and it made no sense to me, I just started by hurting the words. But lo and behold 10 years ago when I read it, the good thing was the words, phrases were still familiar to me, but now I could make sense of the meaning of the private data. To me, the interesting thing about the aggregate as a conversation between our chairman, Arjuna and Krishna and uh you know how China seems in 18th chapters of the public data, our tuna seems to have asked every question that all of us could have asked. There are many phenomenal versus that stand out, but one you know, stands for that stands out for me is 19 Children fish astronomy. Nine. Um the alcohol now china clariant, Yapo associate Marotta.
It means the spirit cannot be wounded by weapons, it cannot be withered by the wind, it cannot be wet by water, the spirit will endure. And uh I every time I face a challenge in my life, this is what I tell myself right? Because what is me is not this outward appearance, it is, you know my soul and my heart. And if my soul decides it has to be done, it will be done and nothing can stop the train. So uh and everybody takes different meanings out of the pagoda. To this is the meaning from the stand so that I have taken, that has helped me in my life absolutely nothing can help you. So that I think on that motive favor to ask you what is your inspired someone today for all those listeners out there. Um, so I have and I'm just thinking right, what would be the right thing to say at this time? As we close out. I'm gonna go back to this poem called Our Deepest Fear, written by mary Ann Wilson. This poem is as relevant today as it was when she wrote it.
And I'm going to quote from the poem here. It says our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous. Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. You're playing small does not serve the word. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as Children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us, it isn't everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same as we are liberated from our own fear. Our presence automatically liberates others. Thank you, wow, Excellent, wonderful retention. I think it kind of sums it up to what we kind of need to look forward in life. You are not here to play small. Yes. And it doesn't say that you leave your potential live your passion.
I think you are a testimony to that soda. You have welcome hurdles and leading the way out to everybody out there to say that what does it take to kind of live an inspired life? Thank you so much. Thanks for taking time sharing your constant story with all of us. I'm sure this is going to inspect someone today. Thank you. She can't and and thank you everyone. Um, I'm sure all a blessed life. Thank you. Thank you for listening in to today's edition of inspire someone today. It's been a privilege to bring in these conversations if you like this episode and have any feedback or comments to make me act inspired someone. Today's podcast at the rate gmail dot com inspiring someone is like creating ripples around us if you like what to listen, feel free to share them and let's create peoples of inspiration. Do not forget to follow me on my instagram hand activate inspire someone today podcast with all the latest updates. This is freakin your host signing off until next time.