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Coaches Corner: Lizzie and I provide examples of strategies we've used with clients to help them build momentum

by Shaun Kober
February 4th 2021
00:32:17
Description

I've had so many great conversations with friends and colleagues about what we see happening in the fitness industry, and thought to myself, "I wish we would have recorded that."
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what does it mean to live life to the fullest train to your potential and perform at your best, leave nothing on the table. That's a non negotiable is that I I strive to be better every day because if I'm not on top of my game, how is anybody else gonna follow me down the road? Keep demanding more of yourself to to live up to that potential and to stay hungry. Training is progress. You know when I look at the word training, I think of steps, baby steps to get somewhere that you want to be and that is basically your life journey. That's a mindset itself man, it's like, it's not just about, I know that for you, a lot of that's about the physical, but we're constantly in training, whether it's growing our skill sets, whether it's growing our physical bodies, whether it's growing our relationships whatever and all of that is a training ground and that kind of goes back to the mindset that we just talked about, You underestimate yourself and you don't even start, but then once you start, you often surpass what you thought you could do performance your best mate. That's that's sort of what life is all about. You don't have the knowledge and have the fitness to healthy ambition and drive that no matter what comes along when that next phone call comes, I can just say yes, I don't have to worry, just go and do it, you know what is up guys, welcome to today's episode of the live transform podcast, I'm your host, Sean koba This is the third installment of a 90 minute conversation that I had with my friend Lizzie right of you fit Singapore.

In the first episode, we went through how she ended up in Singapore and becoming a coach. The second episode was all about the tools that we've used to work through and condition ourselves to adversity. And in this episode we give some examples of um some of the tools that we've used with our clients to help them achieve their goals. Let's get this episode underway. Let's talk about some of the things that you just spoke about their, I want to touch on uh some of your clients that you work with because I'm sure you've adopted this coaching stole from, you know, the people that you've worked with over the last few years and you've adapted, you've adopted um and you've kind of come up with your own coaching philosophy because of these people that you're coaching. Um let's talk about that. Has it been similarities with what you've been through and you know, the demographic, the type of people that come to you for coaching. Yes. So I think definitely in terms of my message, it's attracted a lot of women, whether in conversation, talking points to strangers by on instagram or my clientele that do come into the gym, um to see me or for online coaching.

Um Because not only a big part obviously for them to come in as for the training, but I like to look at it the whole three 60 approach, but when I first is it, I've had a massive influx like over the last year when I've really kind of fine tuned my message, like I'm still working on and it's always gonna be me adapting to the environment, adapting to the people and what's kind of going on in life, but it's what drives me every day is what drives me to coach. What drives me to write those posts because the women I'm coaching, I think, or have coached in the past or people who have come to me, um, I haven't always been dealt the right card in terms of marketing in the diet culture and creating bad relationships with food, you know? Um, so for me, I see it as my mission and my passion to be able to provide these women not only with the information, but change the way they think their minds and know that they can have all of this and have a healthy mind and a healthy body if they follow X, Y, zed, but that means they've got to break up with a diet industry, that means they've got to start looking at things differently.

That means I've got to have hard conversations and challenge them and asked them, well, why do you think that, why do you think this, what does this mean to you? How does it make you feel, you know? Um, so I definitely think with coaching a lot of women, I deal with. A lot of women who have anxiety or depression. Uh they're anemic or um they hold on to a lot of traumas as they move through life and I'm awesome. Not anywhere near a psychologist or anything like that. I put out there right now. I still understand the human brain and how they're operating. So for me it's just what can I give that's going to make them feel confident. That's going to empower them. That's going to make them feel strong. Um and that's gonna kind of dismiss all the bullshit that's out there and feed them with the right information. So they are the fuel to my fire. Like I feel it's so strong in my heart that every single woman deserves to feel happy confident um within their own body.

And I think that starts with the internal dialogue before we start looking at the they always come in for the external and the aim is to get them much more than that. Um as we move through. Mm I think that's incredible. Um and that's something I always say as well is like any change first starts with the psychological and behavioral, you know, we need to start working on those things first before you can express that externally. Um let's talk about that for a moment. Do you have time? Yeah. Haven't had dinner and it's nine pm but we put all the are late, late, don't worry, sorry, lizzie, I'm just enjoying this conversation. There's still a few things that I want to touch on. So cramp in my leg, stretch it out, stretch it out. Um what I want to talk about is what you just said then about breaking down barriers, because this has been a part of the fitness industry for so fucking long and it's really difficult to try and break down these barriers with women.

So for example, you know, I don't know how some of these myths are still around on like women, you know, don't want to lift weights because they don't want to get big and bulky. You know, how do you how do you, how do you have those conversations with your clients or you know, another one. Another big one as well is, you know, women in particular that I'm saying women because for the most part, most of my clients that come to me as women want to lose weight. And for the most part, most of the guys that come to me, you want to build muscle. And the biggest one of the biggest problems that I have is women have been fed this information of eat less, move more calories in calories out and then they go on these fucking crazy diets for long periods of time. They see results for three months, six months or whatever and then they plateau and all they do is drop their calories again and then they exercise more and they drop their calories again. They exercised more and you know, they come to me, their metabolisms fucked up because they've been doing these crash diets for two years, you know, and then they go on holidays.

Um, their metabolism slowed down. They created metabolic adaptation, which is not necessarily a bad thing. That's what we fucking evolved to do, right? But then they go on holidays and they overindulge and their body just goes boom and blows out and then they're starting again, like, how do we talk to clients or how do you talk to clients about going through a reverse dieting process of getting their metabolism to speed up getting them to eat more food so that they can get to a healthy position. So that now when they go and train and stress their bodies, their body actually actually adapts in a positive manner. Yeah, definitely. I think number one, every person is different. Every person has had a different journey, a different upbringing, a different environment and two degree. They still come with the same information, but they obviously interpret information differently. So it's knowing your audience first as a coach for me. Um, some people are quick to respond anything. I say they do. Um, others are take a lot more convincing. Um, he says, yeah, it's knowing and getting to know the client for me is super important on a personal level in terms of what they like, what they don't like what triggers them, What doesn't trigger them.

So it's trying to find out a little bit more about them first. Um Yeah, I think the first part after that once I started to know them and how they respond like so I'll just give them small task, right? So before I don't want to bombard them with information straight away, I think there's an important education process and some people are willing to learn it straight away. Others will literally, you'll send them into a hole and I'm like, no, I'm not, I can't do this like it's too much. Um So I always think go simple. Um I've just put it out there to a lot of my clients now. I just set up a female focused facebook group called Project Woman. Um And we're just doing something in january. I'm just running it for free and I basically just outlined to them how to keep it simple. So focusing on small behaviors. So looking at my four Key Principles of Health. Um and I think this is that's the important message first, as we're looking at your health, yes, you want to get and lose weight and everything like that. But every diet you've ever done doesn't work. You tell me it does, but it's worked for two months and then you're back to where you were.

If not you put on another five or 10 kg extra than before because you've not learned anything about yourself. You just learn to either go into starvation mode, You know, or you just wreaked havoc on your metabolism or your body's in crash and stressed and guts all over. You know, the diet has worked, but you haven't been taught how to come out of that in a healthy manner. Exactly. Exactly. And I think like the foot for me, it's the education process on sleep, nutrition training and your mindset. So a lot of behavioral comes into it first. So what's your uh, bedtime routine? Like what's your morning routine like? And it's looking at all these smaller behaviors that aren't sexy, like what we said earlier and they're not sexy. But the things I do every single day because they get to me where I need to be, I get enough sleep because I'm so regiment with what I need to do. The same with nutrition.

I'll always have my, I'll always be hydrated cause I've always got a bottle near me and I've done it forever, you know, so it's getting clients and women in that mindset that we need to strip it so far back that if you're not able to get to, I'd rather say like 2.5 to 4 liters of water a day, obviously depending on person etcetera, etcetera. But if you can't get the basics right? How the hell do you expect to train hard, how the hell do you expect to do this long term. Um, so it's kind of, for me is trying to have that honest factor and that's one of my values, like uphold myself. I do tend to talk a lot and just say things and I'm like, do I need a sensor and then I might, you know what, I'm not going to kind of cushion it or whatever. I need to, yeah, or sugarcoat it. Uh, people need to hear it and I'll be one of the better people that they hear it from because I believe in them and I've got a passion for what they need to achieve and I can see what they can do.

So I think it's, and they're paying you as well. They're paying and paying me like, hey, I've got to give this person, you know what they need. Um but that's a good point as coaches, we need to have a look at the person in front of us and adjust our ability to communicate what we need to communicate to that person to meet them where they're at. You know, I had a conversation with one of my online clients today and she, um, she started with me a couple of weeks ago, uh and we had a call booked in prior to christmas um and she's like, hey, I don't wanna do this call because I've got this and that going on blah blah, want to kick this off after new years and I just simply wrote back and I was like, um, would you like to have this discussion so we can give you some strategies to get through the festive season so that we can minimize the damage for the next couple of weeks so that we can start in a good position for the new year or would you prefer not to do that and we can have that first call in the new year. And she was like, oh, let's definitely have this call, you know?

And then when I had that conversation with her today, um, you know, she messaged me and she's like, all right, sweet, I'm back in the gym, I'm ready to roll. I've got all of that stuff out of my system and you know, let's go through the training program. And I was like, what's the biggest roadblock that you think you have over the next two weeks the next month? And she goes consistency? And I was like, all right, let's talk about consistency. Like what is stopping you from being consistent? Oh well, blah, blah, blah. And what it came down to was that all or nothing mindset? And I was like, all right, well, something is better than nothing and that's literally what my podcast episode was about today. Um And when we got back, like, right, when we stripped everything right back, I was like, what's out of, you know, nutrition hydration, sleep training relationships, blah, blah, blah, the wheel of life? I'm like out of all of those things, what's one thing that you can do every single day for the next two weeks, the next month that's going to shift the needle in the right direction.

She's like, oh well I don't drink enough water. And I was like, how much water you drink a day? And she's like one glass. I'm like one cup of water. I'm like, right, let's start there. And we, you know, spoke about how, you know, giving her some strategies and I was like, all I want you to do is That one cup of water that 250 mils of water, I want to set an alarm from 10 o'clock until six o'clock And every hour when that alarm goes off, I want you to drink 250 miles of water. And then I was like, I want you to go to your calendar and every day that you do that, there's two liters of water every day you do that, put a tick on the calendar for that day and if you don't do that, put a cross on that calendar, let's game. If I, this, all I want you to do is accumulate as many ticks as you can over the next two weeks over the next month before our next call. You know? And she was like, that sounds so simple. And I'm like, well there's your challenge? Let's start there? And then I was like, what's the next, what's the next issue? And she's like, oh, sleep.

You know, I go to sleep. Um, whenever I always wake up at the same time, I have no problem getting to sleep, but staying to sleep is a problem. And then we broke it down. All right, what's going on here? Blah, blah, blah, blah. And what the strategy that I gave for her was, you know, journal before you go to sleep, write down what you're grateful for that day jot down all of the things in your head that is going to allow your door brain dump. Because what most people do is they lay in bed 30 minutes there. Like I need to call this person tomorrow. I need to pay these bills. I need to email this, blah, blah, blah, 30 minutes later you're going through the same fucking things. It's like, right, that stuff down door brain dump and see how that goes. And I was like, go back to your calendar, Have two columns on one column is your water on the other column is your journal. And your goal is to get as many tickets as you can in the next two weeks before our phone call. I love that. I might still that one. I like that game. Absolutely. And that's and that's it.

You know, like, and she goes, what about training? And I was like, well, you've got your training program. All I want you to do for the next two weeks is get into the gym and play around with the exercise, you don't need to follow the sets, the reps, do the exercises, do every exercise that I've given. You play around with the movements. Practice the movements as skill. Pay attention to how those movements feel. If there's any discomfort, anywhere, if there's any imbalances, if there's any dysfunction, then you know, shoot me a message, let me know what exercise don't feel good and we'll talk a little bit more about the training on our next call and nutrition and things like that. But I literally had to strip it back to, Let's drink two L of water a day. Let's do some journaling before we go ahead. And that's it. Yeah, I think that's a thing right though. Like every understand over complicates it and then I guess gets this heart and when they can't achieve like basic things. And I feel like it's um, I get it all the time. Like all the time.

Like we need to focus on your basics and if you don't have your basic stacked or in order then like I said before, how um, how are you going to get the other results you want? And I think the other part is you've got to look at it as the overall health. Like if this is creating other issues in your life or you know, like it does, it gets me because I'm just like I want to help you guys, but there's always this, this realization, I think if people can take away with it, build your foundations, like build your foundations and build your consistency and stop going like, having that, yo yo, because I have some people who keep coming in who have had like pt not with me, but pt throughout their lives and I'm like, you're still in the same place, like, when are you going to, like, listen and learn and when you don't have a pT for a while or an online coach or someone who has helped guide you, you just go back, you fall back to your old ways, it's like, when does that consistency continue up on that card, you know?

Yeah, that's a great point. And I mean, you know, going back to this client, um, you know, something that she said was um I said like, what's what's the biggest roadblock that's going to stop? And she's like, you know, self confidence because, and I was like, and I was like, alright, let me break that down. I didn't ask you any more questions and I said, let me guess, you know, you've got an all or nothing mindset. So when you're trying to change something, when you're trying to lose weight, you, you know, focus on sleep, you count your calories, you get into the gym, you train, blah, blah, blah, blah, you do all these things and then two weeks later, something happens you miss a day at the gym and all of a sudden you think it's a failure. So then, you know, you don't eat well and you make poor choices with food and you have a late at night and you fucking sit on the couch watching netflix in your pajamas and eat Ben and jerry's and all these types of things. I'm like, that's that all or nothing mindset and it's like that erodes confidence, you know, So I'm like, don't do that. Let's look at, you know, let's be realistic about this. If you know, um you know that you can get to the gym For 30 minutes three times a week and you know that you can do that consistently.

That's where you start. You know, once you build that consistency for a month, two months or whatever, and again, you fucking tick those boxes off your calendar and you can do that over that longer period of time, then you earn the right to add something else. And what that does is it creates winds, it creates achievement. And when you get those achievements that boosts your self confidence, you know, so that's what we wanna do, want to set ourselves up for winds every single day. So when we have these winds, then, you know, we look for the next win, we look for the next win, but it's not about going, you know what I fucked up today and I didn't get to the gym all right. You know, that's not optimal. It's not ideal. But the next decision you make is going to be important. You know what we don't want to do is make a bad decision or make a less than ideal decision and then follow that up with another lesson, ideal decision. Because as soon as you start doing that, as soon as you start justifying that to yourself, you know, it's a snowball effect and you know that that slope gets very slippery, very fast.

Yeah. And I think like you said, is the all or nothing like it's a he goes so far in that when you then have what they might think is a loss or a failure or something of that degree that then the whole week is written off. Like I've had clients come to me before and just say, yeah, well I didn't work on monday and this is all like, it's just, yeah, we ended up just sitting on the sofa and like you said, doing all this, this was like, or something is clearly not working then like you've obviously overshot what you wanted to do. And again, like you said, when it's like the water that you make it so simple that it's achievable and a big one for me is um the night uh the 9 to 10 out of 10 rule. So if it's not a nine or a 10 action to like if you can't drink three liters of water a day or two days of water a day or whatever it is and you then you tell me that it's A nine or 10, you can't complete that action, then it's not a nine or 10, it's like a six or maybe a four And that's when you need to look at something simpler.

So maybe, Okay, I'm only having, like you said like 250 mil so I might as well just I'm going to try and Elita for example, like make it so easy and then go, okay, nine out of 10. I can definitely, I can definitely definitely do that. So it's kind of looking in those points and then I also think is um everyone looks again, I think there's that fear of failure right linked to it and the negative side of things. But I which have had conversations recently with the client and whilst it was avoided, they don't think it was fair. I was just like, it's fair that you're scared of failing, but so it's almost like I'm scared of failing. So why do I try? I'm just like, but though if you don't try, you're going to see exactly where you are. Yeah, it's like having a second. Can you can you can you walk right now because I'm pretty sure you fucking failed when you try to stand up as a baby. You know, you didn't just fucking stop like you continue going and you, you know, you fix your, your, you make some adjustments, you create stability and then you keep moving. Like we, we have this society where people, you know, condition to being afraid of failure or fuck man, I tell you right now.

Like if you never ever do anything because you're afraid of failing, you will never fucking achieve anything in your life and I don't want to sound like an asshole. But that is the fucking truth. Yeah. Without a doubt. And I think it's like it's that fear of yeah, you're not going to move, you're going to Yeah. But the way I see in the way I reframe it is, it's a lesson, is teaching you something. If you didn't quite do something that you set out to do that's telling you you're not ready and you've got to be okay with you not being ready not because someone else is telling you or because someone else on their own journey has achieved something. It's got to be, everything has got to be right for you, your environment, your job, your time, everything like that. I was I think again, we I did a post about it is that comparison is the thief of joy. So if you're constantly comparing your life and I should be here right now. Like I get that a lot. I should be here, I should be doing this, I should be looking at this, I should be feeling this and that, but why? And it always tends because someone else is ahead or someone else's somewhere else in the journey and I'm like, dude, you have to pay attention, like pay attention to yourself.

And that's where I think a lot of these ideals come from people create all these ideals of timings like, well, so and so got this in X weeks or whatever, one A little bit leaner than you. They've got more athletic background. So you've got to learn all your habits and behaviors. Like it's two different things, like one is already set to go both in completely different positions. Um Just going back to the failure thing. Um I think there's a quote from thomas Edison, um when, when they were asking about the light bulb and he was like, you know, I failed, I didn't fail. I found 10,000 ways that didn't work. Yeah, that one. Yeah, I think there's so much power in that and, and that's the thing, like, you know, we can give this advice on this podcast and on your own podcast and um, you know, multiple podcasts and books and things like that. Um I mean at the end of the day, like I always say, there's like good coaches, basically going to say the same thing, We might say it a little bit different and you know, we're going to take people from A to B, we might take different paths, but we're typically gonna stick within certain parameters, you know?

So um I think that's the point is like understand principles, understand principles and then put one ft in front of the other and get people on your side that are going to guide you through that journey and here's the thing man, like for people listening, you know, I have had this conversation with Adrian as well and like I started with um pt like I ran my own strength conditioning business, um pT business, where I literally had to walk up to people on the fucking gym floor and you know, asked what they were doing there, what they were training if I could give them a free training session, like and I was doing at the start like 30 40 hours a week of free training, trying to sell myself trying to sell my services to people, you know? And um one of the things that came up constantly was you know every single person was different, so I had to figure out how to communicate to that person and I had to figure out how to speak to them on their level and meet them where they were at and you know, I fucking love that and that was so powerful for me um once I transitioned into, you know, I'm coaching at Tiger now and we've got a lot of group classes, there's you know, might be 30 40 50 people, 60 people in the class during high season, things like that, you know, I don't get that one on one time with people and um, I, I personally believe that one on one time with people where I'm catering to that individual and I'm giving them the fucking tools that they need for their life right now, that is so important for me.

And if people are looking for a coach, there's so much value in that, but in saying that if you're going to employ a coach, if you're going to trust them in the process, you know, you're going to employ them, you also need to follow their directions, you also need to trust them. I've had so many people that message me and like, hey man, you know, I know you're a good coach, I know you know, your shit, my coach says this and that and blah, blah, blah. What do you think? I'm like, follow what your fucking coach says, Don't worry about what I say, don't worry about what other people say, follow what that person says, and if you follow that process, you know, what's going to be the worst thing that happens in three months time, six months time of year's time, Like, you're in the same fucking place, like, it's not a big deal, right? Like, you know, trust the process. Um, and, you know, a good coach is going to guide you down that path and give you those tools that you need at the appropriate time. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I think you said it in a nutshell, that's for sure. And I think it's, I would say do your research on the coaches to and I think definitely now most coaches or good coaches will have an instagram account or something showing their material and what they're about in their voice and I think as long as it resonates with you and like where you want to go, um I just think the key points are, like we've said is the key principles of health.

Like are they focusing on long term visions as well as helping you with your shorter visions? Like they're helping you create a whole mind map of, Have you looked at the next 12 months and beyond kind of aspects as well as all the other the other smaller bits that come into the mix, the the right coaches will be putting out the right amount of content and yeah, trust your coach and be consistent and just can do it. Yeah, there's there's something you just said then as well as like, you know, it's important to have these long term goals, but you also need to break those long term goals down into shorter term goals like a year, I want to lose 10 kg in the next year. Um You know, you need to break that down into all right, cool. If I want to lose 10 kg in a year, then I need to lose roughly one kg per month. All right. Now that I'm gonna break that down to a week. You know, 250 fucking grams per week. Is that achievable? Yeah, absolutely. If I do the right thing, what do I need to do on a day to day basis? That's going to shift the needle in the right direction?

Am I doing these things? Yes. Cool. You're going to get those results if you're not doing those things? Well you're not going to fucking get those results but you need to have that conversation with yourself day to day. Is it valuable to me? Can I do it? Is it achievable? Yes. Sweet. You're on the right path. If not, then you need to mix match your expectations to your commitment levels. Yeah. And a reminder of why you're doing it. Always think always Delvin like why As I always asked like five wise, So I'll get them to write their goals out and then the next pages, five wise, which I'm just like, why are you doing it? You know, like, and it gets down to the nitty gritty, it gets too raw conversations that I have with people in how they feel about themselves, how they have felt about themselves for so long. Um rather than it be that edge of, you know, like I just want to lose a tiny bit way I just want to lose this. Just, I wanna do like X, Y. Z. But really, you come down to the fact of every time they walk out in their clothes they don't want to, they don't feel good in themselves, they feel x rays, evidence getting down to that, it's homing into your wife.

So every time you lead a session and you lied decisions that obviously you have to take responsibility for, you lead it with purpose and a bigger a bigger purpose than yourself, like keep turning up purpose right there, that is the theme of this podcast episode, is everything. Yeah, absolutely. Alright, that's awesome, Lizzie, we are coming up on 90 minutes so my apologies for keeping you for so long, I apologize for the longest run ever, I really appreciate about Yeah, I know we definitely got to do this again. Um so for those listening, I did speak to lizzie off air and you know, said that I want to have these coaches corner episodes where you know once a month I get on um you know a crew, a core group of coaches that I have these conversations with, they bring me um you know the questions that there getting from their clients and you know the things that are coming up for them so we can have a conversation around that and I'll also be doing the same thing with my clients.

Um so I think that's going to be part of the podcast moving forward but um lizzie where can people find you if they want to get in contact or do some work with you or just follow you on social media? Um Yes, so they can hit me up at lizzie Righty. Um also if all the females who do tune in, you can join my private facebook group, it's free. It's just, it's a place that I put content out there, which is called Project Women or like we spoke about before my podcast, Project Women podcast. Give us a follow, subscribe and start listening with very early days. Um so bear with us as we start to build it all up. Um yeah, super, super excited to hear from anyone who has questions or anything they want to share on their journey to. Amazing, thank you very much for your time. I really appreciate it. I will have all of lizzie's um notes. No, all of lizzie's links in the show notes, Thank you very much lizzie. We shall chat again soon. Thank you for having me. And that rounds out my 90 minute conversation with my friend Lizzie, right of you fit Singapore.

If you got some benefit from these conversations, please make sure you pass it off to your friends and family. Any five star ratings and reviews are much appreciated, much love guys, piece

Coaches Corner: Lizzie and I provide examples of strategies we've used with clients to help them build momentum
Coaches Corner: Lizzie and I provide examples of strategies we've used with clients to help them build momentum
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