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Coaches Corner: Your values drive your decisions

by Shaun Kober
January 28th 2021

I've had so many great conversations with friends and colleagues about what we see happening in the fitness industry, and thought to myself, "I wish we would have recorded that."

what does it mean to live life to the fullest train to your potential and perform at your best, leave nothing on the table. That's a non negotiable is that I I strive to be better every day because if I'm not on top of my game, how is anybody else gonna follow me down the road? Keep demanding more of yourself to to live up to that potential and to stay hungry. Training is progress. You know when I look at the word training, I think of steps, baby steps to get somewhere that you want to be and that is basically your life journey. That's a mindset itself man, it's like, it's not just about, I know that for you, a lot of that's about the physical, but we're constantly in training, whether it's growing our skill sets, whether it's growing our physical bodies, whether it's growing our relationships whatever and all of that is a training ground and that kind of goes back to the mindset that we just talked about, You underestimate yourself and you don't even start, but then once you start, you often surpass what you thought you could do performance your best mate. That's that's sort of what life is all about. You don't have the knowledge and have the fitness to healthy ambition and drive that no matter what comes along when that next phone call comes, I can just say yes, I don't have to worry, just go and do it.

Hey guys, welcome to today's coaches corner episode with my guest lizzie right now, this is a 90 minute conversation that I had with her recently and I'm going to be breaking this up into three part installments in Part one, Today's episode, we discuss how lizzie went from living in the UK to backpacking around the world to then living in Singapore and starting her journey as a coach. Now we have a really good conversation about some of the crossroads that we've encountered in our lives and also the mindsets that allowed us to make decisions to follow the path on the journey that we're currently on. Now, let's get this episode underway. Hey guys, welcome to today's episode of the live transform podcast, I'm your host, Sean Cobra, and during this Coach's Corner episode I have joining me lizzie right from Singapore, lizzie, how you doing? I'm good, thank you Sean, thanks for having me, I am excited to have a chat to you for anyone that doesn't know what the coaches corner is.

It's basically where I sit down with friends, colleagues, other coaches in the industry and we just talk shop um and it's basically like you're a fly on the wall, so um we're gonna talk about a number of topics today um and then I'll break these episodes up into probably three or four different installments, which I'll release over a couple of weeks lizzie, can you introduce yourself to myself one because I've never actually met you, we know of each other, we haven't actually met um but also to my audience as well. Yeah, so um we have, we bumped into each other in Tiger, but you didn't know me then, so I just ignored you. So uh We did just one of the, one of the 450 people that came through the door that day. Yeah, I'm not special. Um Yeah, so I'm promising, no, not from Singapore. I live in Singapore and I've been here seven years now. I've been here quite a while um originally or I am from the UK. Um my background really before I came a coach, so my background is marketing and branding, that's what I studied it uni.

It was in fashion, which is quite hilarious right now because I am far from that world um in any degree, if anyone knows me um And moved to Singapore when I was 23 after a stint of backpacking in my early 20s. Um So I moved here with an ex boyfriend um and I, the only reason way I could get a job was or a Visa was in finance. So it's completely a world away from where I am now and I was in a business development role and um was not the career or anything I'd ever imagined. And um from there, I slowly started making my connections, making transitions and that's when I took on the marketing role at the gym that I currently am and I've been there for five years now. Um I just came in came to me when I was there. Like, my background is in sports, so I was a track runner, sprinter back in the day. Um so I reconnected it when I jumped in the gym there, so I was doing all the marketing and a year after, just realized that was in a very stressed space.

Um it wasn't enjoying the marketing the way I was or intended it we wanted it to be. Um and I had a lot of encouragement from all the coaches around me, just saying you can do it, you just need to get your qualifications, you've got, like, the athletic experience and coach him back when I was younger. Um So I did, I took a massive leap, like, quit uh what I knew or had known for my early career and uh yeah, I made a massive transition. I that's what I end up my relationship, that's when I transitioned jobs had a bit of a crazy whirlwind moment and uh nearly lost my job, but then since then, um is that, is that something that you're willing to touch on and talk about potentially for another time maybe I didn't really think that one through about talking about. Uh and then, yeah, and then that just brings me to where I am today, and like four years later, like, I wouldn't change the job I'm doing as a coach for anything.

Um So yeah, now your love of fitness did that start when you were younger, when you're competing as a track athlete? Yeah, so um I've been in sports all my life, like just as a, as a young kid, so literally probably age of 56, like I was fortunate enough for my family to be able to put me in and try multiple sports, like before I got to track it was gymnastics, trampolining, horse riding, Netball, football, like all of any sport, like I wanted to try was going straight in and doing until I went at the age of 11, Found sprinting. So I used to go to the track from the age of 11 to 18, um 34 times a week. Used to compete uh just within the UK um that yeah, that's been the whole base of my life, that's how I am, where I put all my principles into coaching, that's kind of the backbone of who I am and how it built who I am today. Um Yeah, did you move away from um that space for a while whilst you went through traveling and working in the corporate world before you um got back into the gym or was that love always there?

The love has always been there. So whether it's like in the gym focus, so it's been the running focus, I've always maintained it, but in different degrees, so I would have picked up different uh Sports along the way long, more long distance running, I was more and when I first moved in for us, I'd be more like, 5 10 cases. so more like just transitioned into different spaces really, so Um yeah, I mean there were spells like when I was in the corporate, the early corporate life of 23 in Singapore, probably drinking a bit to oblivion, I didn't like my job, so who I would go out partying with my friend who also didn't like our job and we'll be on the phone the next day, just quite drunk, just not not enjoying it. Yeah, not doing it, and then next week, like, yeah, I don't like my job, so this is what it's going to be, so yeah. Mhm. I want to touch on what you said before, because there was a number of things that you kind of just glossed over, was there a catalyst for you? Um making that massive decision and the subsequent changes to move from the corporate world back into the gym environment?

Um Yeah, I guess with the job itself, when I was in Singapore, I was constantly trying to get out of the job because I knew it wasn't, it wasn't fulfilling me, it wasn't for me, and I just had something in my heart, my gut just being like, well this isn't you, like you, this is not you like deep that call um so just spare me on, just really kind of identify, like, I mean I was 23 24 at the time, so it's still like a young mind like I still don't have the experience, but something in my gut just said you've got to do something about this and I'm not staying uh still until I get there. Um and it was just a big part, I guess what drove me was travel adventure, like living in Singapore, you're in a hub When we could get on the plains is you could who pop over to Thailand for a weekend costing like $150 on a plane like in an hour and a half I'm going to be in Thailand like it's like a bus, like a cheap train tickets or an expensive ticket in the UK, you know, so um for me, the travel like instilled just again, obviously from the backpacking and everything just building blocks and building blocks to make that massive change.

And a big part I always have mentioned before the people is relationship like we were so good but I just wasn't in it like he wasn't, he was in that corporate life drinking and when I saw it all, I was just like the surrounding is not me, like I don't want to be that person, I want to be more than that and I want to offer more than that and I want to the buzz I got from traveling I think just translated to everything just being like, look at what's around, you, look at everything that's going on and things you can learn things, you can do things you can challenge and test yourself and kind of just experienced like I don't want to just sit around my life just wishing and hoping I'm 100 I always have been, but it's more the duo like I'll challenge it, I'll do it, I'll try, I'll see what's out there. So I think there are a few points that were just all around at the same time. So I think it was like 25 well 24, and that's when I just paid that decision with job relationship friendships and kind of just massive change in lifestyle just happened, it just happened at all in one go, but I think that was a strong message that it was like was almost gunning for it, you know, and I just pushed things over the edge.

Mhm. Was there something massive that happened that kind of pushed you over the edge to make that decision? Or was it like all of these small things that were adding up in all these different areas of your life where you just got to a point, you're like this is not the environment that I want to be a part of and you got out of that and then started re creating your own environment, Talk to me about that process great. Um Yeah, so um it came over across a couple of months, like it didn't, it wasn't like a whole, I didn't just think and just change my mind like and I've done it multiple times since then I've learned from how I want to make change, like I sit on it, I listen to myself, I'm like what is it you really want is it's actually something you really want or you listen to anyone else's and opinions. Um So I always really had to, and from that day like I've homed in on exactly what it is I want, so I have to just focus on myself, basically I took all the selfish kind of decisions that were right for me and it was, it took a long time because breaking up in the relationship was like a six month process, like I really wanted to give him my all um like were amazing together, but it just wasn't right vision for me in terms of I wasn't ready to settle, do you know what I mean?

And I think that definitely instigated a lot in terms of relationships and what I wanted out of life really weren't ready to settle into that lifestyle and that environment. Yeah. Yeah. Um and I think that's what then triggered everything else to be like okay, I can do this and it was more of like obviously transitioning into the coaching side who was then the self talk and saying you've got to believe in yourself, you can do it. Like obviously I'm surrounded like coaches at the gym, I'm at the amazing like they've got their degrees and like they've been doing and working towards us the whole life. So for me it was a big thing like academic to an extent, but I'm not your scientists level, you know, so it takes me a lot to work to where I am. So it's a big decision to kind of really focus on the home in and say are you willing to study, are you willing to give you your best for something completely obviously different that I spent years at uni doing?

So Yeah on reflection, it definitely is a lot of steps and I like to just have the idea I plant the seed, just leave it for a little bit. If I keep thinking about it then I start going okay right what you're gonna do to make those changes and give myself a timeline. So like if it's not if something is really not working, I've given it my best and I know I've given it my best and then the rest is like setting all those pillars in place to help me make that change and that's what I did. Like I just remember I got enough was enough, I was like done and I just had to go, you know I just had to have that conversation with the ex boyfriend and all of those things and then just with the job it was just like saying to my bosses I need to transition into coaching and I took the P. T. Uh of course just before? Like on the side and said I'm ready to do this transition instead. Um So yeah thank you for sharing, I really appreciate it um and I don't want to dive too deep on um anything like that, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable or anything but I do think it is very important for people to hear these conversations you know because everyone has decisions to make your life is one big fucking decision or many many decisions made you know again and again and again again and um a lot of people you know not making a decision is also a decision if you're miserable in your life and you don't like where you're at and you don't you know um you know you don't create changes to um get yourself out of out of a situation that may not be making you happy or maybe making you miserable.

Like if you don't make those changes like nobody's coming to save you like not making a decision is a decision in itself um and I think that's important for people to hear is you know these types of stories where you know you were happy in you know some areas of your life but then you weren't taking the boxes in other areas and you had to have that conversation with yourself and you sat with it and you planted those seeds and you're like, what's actually driving me here, what is the purpose? What am I getting out of this? Am I, you know, fulfilling those um those things that I've set for myself, and if you're not then you need to do something about that. Yeah, 100. And I think when all of those things kind of just like a cascade, it all just started one thing after the other, and I just remember thinking to myself, um you've got a lot of stuff you want to achieve, or like, I've got a lot of things I want to do, and I was saying that when I share my, when I share the story of like, where I am like, today, I've done everything and more, more than ever, I think set out to do, and I think that's gent, like we always overthinking over um analysed, oh my God, I'm going to have to do this, I'm not going to do this, and it's sometimes it's just taking that plunge and it's that fear that the fear will hold you back when you start taking those steps and everything, when you dive into it, you realize there's a whole pool of opportunity and everything that you can do instead, and when you start diving into things more things start coming your way.

So whether it's like positivity or if you're gonna put your energy into traveling, or you're going to put your energy, like into the work that I was going to do and everything like that, the more you put in, the more you start getting out and the more people respond to you in different ways and you'll ever imagine so and they'll take you as a person like in a different light, you know? So you just starting this girl serious, she wants to make these changes and she's doing it, she's not just saying it, and that's one thing I definitely learned from that point is when I want to make a change and when I'm ready to make a change, I will do it if I say I'm going to do something, I will do it, you know? Like those by all those different points were big points of my life in big relationships and things and I was I was scared, I won't, I will not lie about it. Like I had a friend who was living with and she was like and for me like for like for work say I'm used to a whole salary, so for being a coach, you have no guaranteed salary, So that's that was one element, and that's like to me now, I'm like, wow, okay, I can't believe you ever thought that one, but still like you're going from like a base guaranteed salary to going if I only get one hour in this month, I'm going to get paid nothing, you know?

So like it loads different fears or boil up um by just say is taking the leap, is taking an educated and uh leap on the best option for you. Yeah, that's a really good point. Um So many people say to me like, how long are you staying in Thailand for enjoying it over there? Do you still love it, blah blah blah. And I'm like, I've been here 3.5 years and you know, I'm planning on staying here indefinitely until I get to a point where I'm not enjoying what I'm doing anymore. And once that point comes, then I'm going to take a hard look at everything in my life and go, all right, what's within my control that I can group up to fulfill those things that I want in my life that I need in my life and you know, if I can change those things and get myself to a place where I'm happy and creating fulfillment in my life every day again, then sweet, I'll stay here and I'll continue doing what I'm doing unless you know, I want to challenge myself and push out and create something different.

Um But if I can't do that, then I'll look at change, then I'll look at moving to the next thing. I think this is an important conversation because so many people are afraid of change, you know, it's the stability of knowing where you are and most people feel a lot safer staying where they are, even if it fucking makes them miserable because, you know, taking making that decision to step out and go into the unknown. It's fucking scary. It really is. You know, some advice that you can give. Yeah, what's some advice you can give to people because you obviously moved out from the UK to Singapore, right? Yeah. Well, some advice that you can give to people to, you know, approach these big, I guess events, these crossroads in their lives um to deal with them and then follow through on those decisions. Good question. Um Coming to Singapore pretty with a massive life event, I think Being 23 helped me, that was on my side. Like, I literally had nothing, like I had everything but nothing if that makes sense.

Like all I did I did, I was came back from a 4.5 month traveling trip just around Asia and Australia. Um and I didn't visit Singapore on that trip, and my ex was literally just like, so um I've got a job offer in Singapore, um I need to go there in like three months time, and I was just like, okay, I'm coming. Like he didn't even invite me and I just I'm coming and he was like, okay, and that mindset back then, um it's still here now, but like making that decision then. I had only I was only really at the early infancy of my career, or yeah, my career there. So for me that was an easy step and I remember that, like, as an easy step, it was more like, I was just waiting for the guy just to say yes, you can come. So for me on that instance, that was like, I knew I wanted to do that anyway, so my goal before was to like live in London, then live abroad.

So I always had the vision and the goal to um live abroad. I didn't know when, so when the opportunity arises or a rose. Um that's why I was so quick to say yes, I'm in like, that was no second guessing. Like I was like, yes, I've never been and I've never been to Singapore before. Um so he moved before and I just packed one suitcase up and moved and I've not left since. So now I sometimes, I feel like a little bit stage fright of actually leaving Singapore itself. Like I do question myself on that bit, but again, like you said, it's in with your um Ready to make the move, right? Like I definitely think about it and I think about what's my next options, what's my next moves in the next year or two? Like the vision of me being here for 10 years, I'm not sure, I feel like I need a I need a gap um or something. So I feel that some, like for me, um yeah, for anyone else that out there, thinking about making change, like fear will hold you back 100%, but it's stepping into that fear bubble and recognizing what opportunities are available to you.

So what's the worst that can happen I think is the biggest thing. So when you start looking at what the worst that can happen, say you're going to move and move up shop. Are you scared of failure? Are you scared of other people seeing it not work out for you? And is it because you might not have enough money to be in that country initially or whatever it is is trying to home in on what you actually fear. Do you know what I mean? Um And I think that's for a lot of people is that setback And I've definitely thought like I've had thoughts about moving to bali and I've had to go through that process of planning what am I willing two Live with for the basic like 3-6 months and then what can I build on moving forward from that? And I think for me anyway, it's like if you know yourself enough and you trust yourself, just go for it. Take those debts take them. And yeah, the more I read on some books at the moment and they're all about fear and resilience and all of these kind of topics.

It's, we only live once. And I think a lot of people think we've got were a cat, we've got nine lives and it's like we don't like do the things you say you want to do or be happy with where you're at because I think a lot of people, they like this ideal of a certain where they want to be, so it's making sure you want, you know exactly where you want to be and what you want. Yeah, 100%. And I think that I'm very value driven, so I'm going to, you know, and I spoke about this with Adrian earlier. Adrian Allen for those listening um I had a coach is gonna episode with him earlier today and we spoke about the same thing. It's like you need to understand what your values are so that you can live in line with them because if you don't understand what those values are then you just kind of floating through making decisions on the fly. However, if you do know what your values are, then every decision you make is in line with that because if you say yes to one thing, you're saying no to many others and vice versa. So you know when you understand what your values are, then it's much easier to live in line with them and make decisions that are going to tie into those things.

Um and and you know, it's it's one of those things that um people are afraid of change and that's probably because a lot of people haven't really experienced that much change in their life or if they have experienced change, like big change, it's normally something massive, it's normally like a death in the family or nothing like that. Exactly. It's normally a negative change. Um you know, so, um I can speak from my experience, you know, I've made multiple massive decisions in my life where I've hit those crossroads and I'm like, where do I want to go now? You know, what do I want to achieve? And you know, I haven't always been clear on what my values were Or even what the fuck I was doing with my life, right? You know, I'm still figuring this shit out as I go, I don't definitely don't have all the answers, but there's been multiple times in my life where I've hit those crossroads and I've had to make a big decision, you know, um, you know, I left home when I was 14 years old, I um came from an abusive family, I don't know, my father, my step dad was fucking asshole.

Um you know, I left home to get away from that environment and I didn't know where the fuck I was going, I didn't know what I was doing, But I knew that I didn't want to be there and there was a massive decision for a 14 year old kid to leave school, to leave home, to leave the state that I grew up in, to move to like halfway across the other side of the country to start working massive decision and how do you Yeah, I was saying from that, like, just from that experience, because that's a massive, massive deal and a massive but history from your childhood, how do you remain so level headed now? But how have you built that up over the years? Like, you know, like you always see there's a from people with such background, sometimes there's not always in the, on the road on a positive road or you might find they might be in drugs or they go a completely different route. How just put the questions on you?

Have you remained and with that kind of that attitude um to create the life that you have now. Yeah, that's a good question. And back then I didn't really know what my values were, I didn't know what was driving me, but I knew that if I stayed where I was, that was not going to serve me, I was going to end up in jail or something, you know, my um you know, surrounded by drugs and alcohol and um you know, stealing shit and was hanging out with bad people, you know, and I was skipping school and things like that, and like I said, my step dad was abusive, used to beat my mom and myself and um I just knew that I didn't want to be there, I didn't want to be in that environment because you know, that was my father figure, that was my role model and I knew that if I was if I stayed there then I would probably follow in his footsteps and that environment was going to shape me, so I knew that you know, staying there was more scary for me than fucking leaving and walking out into the big wide open world with no answers, you know, so that's kind of what drove me um was to get away from there and I've spoken about motivation direction in one of my very early podcasts, you know, sometimes we're moving towards something, sometimes we're moving away from something and you know, one is not necessarily better than the other, but there's going to be different times when you apply those different tools, you know, so um I ended up moving to Darwin working up there um at 14, I have listened to this podcast, but yeah, how the hell do you manage that?

Um I don't know, I just, I just knew that I just knew that where I was was not where I wanted to be and I was like, I'm going to do whatever the fuck I can to get away from there and I was working at a building supplies in this company that was supplying um cement and um you know Rio bars and and that type of stuff for like raw materials for building sites and it was fucking backbreaking work, you know, but it was better than where I was and I was making money and I was I was out on my own and like I never came from a poor family, so I never had any money or anything like that and I was like sweet, I'm making money and um I can buy whatever I want whenever I want and I'm away from my fucking I'm away from that environment and I'm creating my own life and you know, I was still fucking smoked weed and I got on the pierce and shit like that when I was 14, 15, 16 years old. But um you know, then I started playing rugby and um kind of got in with that crew and then ended up moving down to Sydney, so you know, again, another one of those big decisions was um I wanted to join the army and then I got picked up playing rugby, I went through the um different rep teams and things like that and got offered a scholarship down Sydney 17 years old, you know, didn't really know what I was doing with my life and I was going to go down there and just went down there, had a crack, like took my bags down there and rocked up at one of my mates places on his doorstep and I was like, hey man, can I stay here for a bit, you know, so that was scary and then I went back to Darwin, I joined the army, you know, deployed three times in six years, got out of the army, like packed up everything in my house, sold everything off and like move down to Tasmania with a girl that I'd met, you know, a month earlier and I was like, My mom is like, what the fuck are you doing?

I'm like, I don't know, I'm like, you know, there's an opportunity that I'm gonna chase after, you know where I'm at right now. You know that I'm not it's not that I'm not happy where I am, but and opportunities come up and I'm going to go and explore that. I'm going to, you know, follow that and see where that road goes and you know, five years later we traveled around travel the world went 40 different countries together. Um and then had that conversation was like, you know what, where you're at right now, where I'm at right now, it's not where we um thought we'd see each other uh together five years ago when we first got together. So, you know, we hit that crossroads again and when our separate ways and I came to Thailand and I've been here since. So, you know, I've had those massive moments in my life multiple times and you know, again, you need to take that leap, You need to trust in yourself, you need to trust in um your ability to just fucking figure shit out and I think this is what's missing from a lot of people as they, you know, they just expect things to fall in their lap and they expect things to be easy.

Um one of my favorite quotes is, you know, people that make hard decisions live an easy life, but people that make easy decisions live a hard life 100% and I think that's very on point with kind of us as coaches, especially from who I see and come through the door or who I'm surrounded by, even though when I connect with on social media and everything, people just want that easy, easy sell. And I always say it was just like we have in supermarkets, the most convenient things. People cut up, cut and pierre like our carrots up in the supermarkets and we don't have to do anything, you know, so when it comes down to cooking or things like People just want the easy fix and that's why they think, again, it's that whole mentality with everything which translated to our own abs in 30 days or my birthday is in three months. You think I can get abs and I'm like, what are you willing to do? You know, like there's a change, it just a bit more to coaching now, but it's the same thing as with everything and I think a lot of people aren't willing to go through the pain or sacrifice um anything to get to where they, I want to be, you know, like when I think that I, the way I operate day today is yeah, I go and make the hard decisions or I'm hard with myself to make sure I get to where I need to be, but it makes my day flow And that is part one done and dusted.

We still have two more episodes to come. Lizzie has actually started her own podcast called Project Woman, which she started recently. I've listened to quite a few of those episodes and she has some really good guests on there and it's all about women being able to use specific tools to empower themselves to live their best life. Stay tuned for the next episode of the Coach's corner with lizzie Riot. If anyone enjoyed that conversation and got some benefit from it, please make sure you share it with friends and family. Any five star ratings and reviews are much appreciated, much love Guys piece

Coaches Corner: Your values drive your decisions
Coaches Corner: Your values drive your decisions
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