This is episode 70 seven making dreams happen. You're listening to the Rise up and Shine podcast with Claudine and Ashley as an empty nester and a mom with young kids, we have both shared very similar and very real struggles from chaos to coaches. We now help other women live an authentic and meaningful life. So, tune in weekly for girl talk and tips on how you too can rise up and let your light shine bright. This is the Rise up and Shine podcast. Yeah. Mhm. A dream is a wish your heart makes wow Ashley. That's amazing. What an introduction to today's episode on dreams because that's what we're talking about today. We're talking about dreams and dreams are defined as a strongly desired goal or purpose or something that fully satisfies a wish. So we all have the innate ability to dream as Children.

We did this naturally right. We dreamed about getting married and having Children or whatever your dreams were, those were certainly mine. I thought I might be a doctor or a nurse or I would stay home and take care of six Children like mrs brady, that was those were all my dreams. It was very natural. The housekeeper. That's right. Absolutely. I would have Alice, but I had many dreams and I never thought twice about it. I just had these dreams as a child and just would go towards them or believe that they would happen. You that you believe it? I didn't believe like my kids listening to my kids, I want to be an artist. So I want to do this and they change all the time and but they believe fully in their heart that they will yeah, that one that it is possible. And as adults, we've talked ourselves out of a lot of our dreams or we've stopped dreaming or we've pushed him to the side. There's so many reasons why as adults we don't dream anymore. But here it rise up and shine. We believe that having life dreams and really pursuing them Are important and powerful and that's the way we're going to shine is to go after our dreams.

And I was reading in John 1010 in the message version which I love and this is Jesus saying I came so they can have real and eternal life more and better life than they ever dreamed of. So even reading that, I'm like there is this essence of having dreams. It's not wrong to have dreams for our lives. You know, so many of us think, well I'll just do whatever God wants me to do, which is awesome. We want to have a surrendered heart. But I think God still wants us to have our own dreams for our own hearts and we all have different wishes in our hearts. That's what makes me me and you, you have different wishes and different dreams. So actually what are some of your dreams? Well I'll go back to some of my dreams as a kid were very similar to yours. I wanted to grow up and get married and have kids and play basketball? That was a big one? This was even before the W. N. B. A. But I wish that there would be a WMD. There you go. I would play on it. I think I would be quite good. But that was a big one.

That was another big one. But yeah, I just really have a family is, yeah, I really look forward to. Yeah, that was a big one for me too. And here we are right with families. And then as I got older I dreamed of grandchildren and now I have two of those so it's really fun to dream. But a lot of us um some of us are easy, it's easy for us to dream. Other people have a harder time to dream, right? Do you, the only thing I can think of is like travelling? Yeah. But then yet traveling makes me uncomfortable. So then I'm like, do I really want to. So funny now Of course we know traveling is one of my dreams and I'm living in now I'm living the life. We just got back from two weeks in Mexico and next week we head on a 3-4 Week Road trip undefined as we're waiting for our house to be finished. But let I want to ask our listeners this what would you do if you took fear and failure out of the equation because that's a big thing. It's that fear and fear of failure, that keep a lot of people from going after their dreams.

So what would you do actually if you took fear and failure out of the equation? Gosh, I think my life would be so different, like not different in my circumstances, but just I would be different, you know? Yeah, I mean I, I think I, because even as coaches, we still struggle with this, you know, this isn't anything that nobody is like, oh I don't have that issue. But um, I definitely think that just doing things, making decisions without fear would be so freeing. I think there would be a confidence and just a freedom and a piece that comes with that, you know, it's like almost like a kid again, I mean just being a kid again and anything's possible, right? I mean it's important to think that way. It might not be able to fly lie unless we're in an airplane or something, but right? Like some of those dreams that kids have is like I'm not going to be possible, but you don't want to kill your kids spirit, but that's what we do. We, we have a lot of reasons and fear is a big one and I think, um, I was actually asked this even in my business recently, you know what if fear wasn't a factor, what would that look like for you?

I thought, wow, that's great. I'm going to start living in that place, right? Exactly. You know what I did? I started living in that place and I thought, okay, I'm just going to do things not let fear stop me. And what you said a lot of times, we just stop ourselves because we think about it too much. We still think about it too much and what can go wrong. And I would say one thing that's really helped me with working through this is rather than thinking of the worst case scenario, think of the best case scenario, right? Because a lot of times where what was the worst that can happen? Well now our brain is focused on the worst thing that can happen. So that doesn't help me. So if I think about, well what's the best scenario, what do I want it to look like? And really focus on that and envision that then there's a lot of peace and freedom and confidence there and then you just act and then you get to celebrate those little victories. Yeah, it's such an amazing feeling. Yeah, it's so true. And we talk about this all the time too, but Fear and faith all right, They cannot coexist you can't have faith and fear at the same time. And so when we're full of fear, we can't be full of faith, which is thinking what's the best that could happen, right?

Those are the two opposite sides. And I love it because our brains are neuro plastic And so when we set goals and we have these dreams and we have to set goals right? We've done podcast episodes on that, but it actually changes the structure of our brains. So it's optimized to achieve that. So the minute we have a dream and then we set goals and we'll talk about practical in a bit. But our brain actually changes and is optimized to reach that. So the first step is just having dreams again and dreams could be in any area of our lives. We can have dreams for relationships, right? A a lot of single people dream to find that partner, that loving partner, you and I are both have found our loving partner. So our dream is to just have deeper and closer intimacy and vulnerability and all that good stuff that comes with it. Um We can have dreams for our finances. I know my husband, I many, many years ago dreamed of being financially independent, 47 48. We had like a 20 year goal or 15 year goal.

Well that didn't exactly happen unfortunately that time right with the real estate market crash which was our jobs full time jobs and our investments. But we re tweet that and we didn't give up on the goal or the dream, we just changed it. We had to change it. So we're getting fairly close to that now where we can live The life of our dreams. We are not tied 9-5 jobs, we can travel as much as we want. Um, we have a lot of freedom and flexibility that we've dreamed about for 20 plus years. People can have dreams about their health, how they want to look. I mean it is possible, it is possible to look a certain way. I mean you're not going to be six ft if you're five to, But you can have health, you can have muscles. Even in your 50s women, it's possible you can have muscle definition. That's my dream. That's my next dream. I'm going to have some muscle definition. I don't have any right now, but I'm going to, I dream about it, I'm going to make it happen. You watch me there you go. Make it happen, going to make it happen, a dream doesn't happen without action.

That's right. There's another bumper sticker for you folks. There you go and careers, people have dreams about their career, right? We have choices were able to make choices, We have free will and we can choose careers we want now I'm probably not going to be a rocket science at this point because I'm way past my time of education and I don't really want to go back to school, but if that were really my passion and my desire, I probably could do it, but spiritually have spiritual dreams how we want to be used our purpose in life and our relationship with God and with others and there's so many areas in our lives that we can dream about? Right, so many, you know, I think one of my dreams is just to walk barefoot every day on the beach and have tacos every day. It's funny. That sounds like a wonderful dream. I know you just did that. I did walk barefoot every day on the beach. I did not have tacos every day, but I did have a lot of shrimp. I have friends that posted, they were at the beach in southern California and they go that flip flops on and I said, I'm offended you're not supposed to be wearing shoes on the beach.

They were in santa barbara, they did that because of the tar problems in the areas like this one there. But yeah, we do have to work towards it to make those dreams happen, you know, and there might be some things that we dream that are just a dream, you know, and that's okay and sometimes it's just fun to dream. I don't know how many people have actually sat and just daydream, you know, I love to do that. I love to just sit and just kind of be and just envision what gosh what if life was different, like what if we live somewhere different, what would it be like or what if we were surrounded by different people, what would that look like? Not like I'm wanting to escape my life, nothing like that. But just wondering just curiosity, what would it look like if we did move to another state or what and again like it's not something we're actively pursuing but it's just kind of fun and then you just kind of find things that stir your heart that you know, I think that's something I might want to do. You know? Who knows? Or there was a certain truck that I wanted, a certain color I wanted um you know, so those were fun to dream and ironically I would tell myself that I will have that truck one day.

I think I shared this previous Yeah I will, I'm going to have that truck and I talk about it as if I was going to happen one day and then now the desire went away. I don't really want that truck anymore. Now I think I want convertible. Well dreams definitely can change but they definitely changed people out there that may have a harder time coming up with dreams. One of the sure things is it's a hard thing, you'll feel it in your heart. The other day I was in napa with a friend and there was a dilapidated old farmhouse and this is one of my ultimate dreams. I talked about all the time and I have done it but I saw this dilapidated farmhouse on a big piece of land and I was just like oh I'd buy that house in a minute and redo it. Like I just love redoing old homes, big old homes. I haven't redone big old homes every done small modern homes, but my dream is to one day redo a big old home, like a one with character, a vintage home and my heart just flutters. So I know that that's a dream of mine because every time I see an old farmhouse on land my heart skips a beat, you know, so if your heart skips a beat when you see something or hear something, that's an indication that could be a dream of yours, it's something you value.

Yeah. And one thing I've learned also is it keeps resurfacing, it's something that doesn't go away. You know, you think about often, maybe you haven't thought about it for a little while, but it keeps coming back and you keep feeling that same push almost, wow, I should I pursue this should I? And that's what happened even with this life coaching, building a coaching businesses, I never dreamed of that, you know, I never dreamed about workshops, you know, in front of other women and leading it with you, especially that's so much fun, we have to get back to that. Yes, things are changing. Um but yeah, that those were things that were stirring my heart and keep coming up for me, gosh, I really want to do that, I really want to do that, I would love to speak and have a conference, an annual conference. I'd love to do a retreat. I love to do these things and they don't have to stay just dreams whatever that you want. They don't have to stay just dreams. It's what are you going to do to make it happen? You know, if that is something that God put on your heart, then make steps to go after it, you know, and a lot of times what holds us back, like you said is fear, right?

Lots of different types of fear. Our brand does not want to be uncomfortable and that is uncomfortable, my friend. Yes, yes, that is so true. Our brain always wants to keep us safe and expend the least amount of energized sometimes going after these dreams is going to take some and it's funny you said the workshop because that was something we've done several and every time right after I felt incredibly energized, I was physically exhausted, like, oh my gosh, I need find me a bed, but I was incredibly energized mentally emotionally and spiritually and I remember my husband one day we were talking right after and he's like, it's what you're supposed to be doing because I was so energized. So I'm glad you feel the same way because we're almost ready to get back to that, but not every not opening up fine. I know, finally not everyone dreams about doing workshops. There's a lot of success, successful coaches and business women and the last thing they dream about is getting in front of people and speaking and organizing workshop, which is quite a bit of work, but for us, apparently it's part of our makeup and we dream of it.

I dream of it. I can't wait till we go back. We were on course to start this regularly and consistently. And then covid. So here you go. There you go. It's almost over. Like you said, California's, we're getting there june 15th apparently is our date that we are going to be massless and back to normal, whatever that is, none of us even know what normal is anymore. Well, and also not allowing those things to be excuses, right? I mean that was a big excuse. Big reason to stop for a while. Yeah. You know, but things are opening up. Don't let it be like, oh man, maybe that was a sign that I shouldn't do that. You know, I know I tend to go there. It's like, no, no, no, that is not a sign. It was just a detour, let's get back on track. We both still have that passion to do that and it impacted so many women, it's needed. You know, it's very much needed and we don't want to fall into that trap of um using excuses and talking ourselves out of it. That goes with the over thinking.

We tend to think of all the reasons why we shouldn't do something and for some reason some reason we forget to think of all the reasons why we should do it. Right? So true. Why do I want to do this? Why should I what message? Who needs this message? You know, who who needs what you have to offer, Right? And we don't always think about that. So it's really powerful and it's a great motivator to like, yeah, you know, just kind of champion yourself. Like this is something I put in my heart. It's stirring my heart all the time. It keeps coming back. I have to sit in it and listen, you know, and start making efforts and it feels so great. It's so exciting. It's always an exciting time to start working towards those dreams. Those are such great points. And we've talked right now about all the excuses, the reasons why we don't dream or don't presume like we talk ourselves out of it. We overthink we allow fear, fear of judgment. What will others think? Right? What if we fail?

What if we succeed? A lot of there's a lot of fear with success to what if I become really successful? What will my friends think? Will they leave me? Will they still be there for think of me any difference. They think of me different, right? So all those things keep us from dreaming. But let's talk about a few practical is to help us go after our dreams. So My first one that I want to encourage our listeners is just give yourself permission to dream. Like give yourself permission, it's okay, it's a good thing. In fact in proverbs 13, it says hope deferred, makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life, A dream fulfilled. Is a tree of life is okay to dream, really go do it dream. Yeah, another one is to brainstorm and get creative. You know, sometimes we get too busy just with life and responsibilities that we don't allow ourselves to create. And I will say, I know for myself and speaking with others recently, especially that our time that we allow ourselves to spend creating it just feels this fire inside and we feel confident, we feel like we're doing our purpose and we feel like we're doing something good, we just feel good because I had some time to do what I want to do what I want to report, and just brainstorm ideas.

You know, when you're day dreaming, just sit there, what would I love to do? What has been stirring in my heart, Right those ideas down, just writing them down doesn't mean you have to act on and right this minute, but at least write them down and just pray about him and just kind of sit and ponder them and um and allow yourself to get creative just be as imaginative as you can, you know, another one which actually I've been doing a lot personally is finding other like minded people. So God has totally worked in my life, you know, putting people in my life at this time who are doing very similar things. And it was so like I open, it was so excited, like, oh, you too, you too, you have an idea for a book. Oh, and you're doing this, you're wanting to coach? Yeah. We didn't even start reconnecting. There's one specifically, uh we start reconnecting and been in touch on a weekly basis, almost a daily basis. And we find that we have very similar goals and it's awesome. Oh my gosh, this is awesome.

And so we're able to help each other, encourage each other, inspire each other, share ideas. Also help keep each other accountable, you know, and just like, hey, just do it, don't be afraid, just do it right, right, Spur one another on towards Love and Good Deeds. I love that. Yes, so powerful. Yeah, those are good ones. Um you know, I love what you said about writing it down because it's really hard sometimes when we keep it just in our head, which is great because our brain will already start optimizing and going for it and we'll find ways to achieve that even when it's just in our mind, but once we write it down and get really clear, um it's even easier for our brain to do that work. The other one is know what actions you can take. So that's kind of goal setting and we've done whole episodes on goal setting. So we won't, we won't dive too deep into that here. But what actions can you take? Like if you want a successful business, what actions do you need to take? Like no one's going to hand it to you right?

Like my husband and I wanted to be financially free to travel at a certain age and that's, we're at that point now we have jobs or we can travel. So our two weeks in Mexico, we're supposed to be a true vacation. But he worked quite a bit and I worked a teeny tiny bit, so I don't know how true of a vacation it was. But you know what? We have the ability to take off for two weeks. We have the ability to take off for four weeks on a road trip. As long as we have internet and wifi we're good. But what actions can you take to achieve those goals to make your dream a reality. And once you have those actions, write it in your calendar, that is the one that gets me every time I'm like, well I know I need to do it and then all of a sudden it's thursday and I'm like, oh man, I was going to do that on monday. And so it's just again, the brain is always trying to conserve energy and it's got so many things going on in it. If you don't write it down, it is less likely to happen. So if you really want to go after your dreams, write it down, write the dream down, right? The actions you need to take to get there, get creative brainstorm, write it in your calendar, find an accountability partner, other like minded people who encourage you and spur you on towards love and good deeds.

I love that. That just keeps me so inspired. But we have a resource on our websites. Mind over chaos dot com and Claudine Sweeney dot com. There's a resource there to help you get started on writing down your dreams. So, pop on over there and download that for free. And there's a quote I like. It says you are never given a wish without the power to make it happen. And that's by Richard Box. So remember whatever God puts on your heart, whatever dream is stirring in there, you have the power to make it happen until next time. Yeah. All right, everyone thank you for joining in on our conversation today here on the rice. I've been shine podcast. If you haven't already, please take a second to hit that subscribe button. So you never miss an episode. And while you're at it, share this episode with a friend who you know it can bless today if you want to visit us as well on our websites, you can catch Claudine over at Clotting Sweeney dot com and Ashley at mind over chaos dot com are links are in the description.

We also have some free resources there for you as well. So remember, ladies, no matter what you are facing in life, it is never too late to rise up and shine and live your best life. Yeah.