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160 A Time to Renew

by Claudine Sweeney
December 22nd 2022
00:26:17
Description

It's almost the new year and it's the time of year we start thinking about new goals and habits we want to start. We look forward with excitement and faith that our health and fitness, relationship... More

you're listening to the Rise up and Shine podcast with Claudine and Ashley as an empty nester and a mom with young kids. We have both shared very similar and very real struggles from chaos to coaches. We now help other women live an authentic and meaningful life. So tune in weekly for girl talk and tips on how you too can rise up and let your light shine bright. This is the Rise up and Shine podcast. Hello everyone Welcome back. Hello Claudine. It's nice to see your beautiful face today. Hi Ashley, good to be seen. Well today's episode. I want to start us off with this quote that I found, I absolutely loved it. It says every single cell in the human body replaces itself over a period of seven years. That means there's not even the smallest part of you now, that was part of you seven years ago and that's from Stephen Hall. I loved that quote.

Especially going along with our topic today of renewal. Yes. So we are approaching quite quickly. 10 days, 10 days, 10 days to a new year. I still can't believe it. I can't believe it's going to be 20, time flies this year did go fast, didn't it? I think because the last two were so slow. Probably such a big change right there. There's been so much going on in the world. But as we approach the new year, we start thinking about New Year's resolutions and goals that we want, you know, to accomplish in our life for weight. We want to get off of our bodies or new routines or habits we want to have and so today's topic, we wanted to talk a little bit about renewable and renewing for the new year, right? We all have some area in our life that we want to see renewal, whether that is relationships, health career, what what have you?

You know, we all have our own our own idea of what we want to see for this next year for renewal. And so we wanted to talk about it because I know Claudine you and myself, we are starting to think about that for the next year and I really loved that word renew. Well first with that quote, I love it too. And I was just wondering can we specifically request which cells we want to get rid of in seven years or do they all go? Because I have some, I'd like to get rid of a lot sooner than later, but I like that quote too from the opposite perspective that in seven years going forward, we're going to be completely different people, like every cell in our body will be made new again. And I do think the topic of renewal obviously has a lot of spiritual connotations. But even just for life, whether you're christian or not, it has a lot of impact and it is almost the first of the year and we thought, why wait till jan January 1? We should be talking about this now. We should be talking about renewal. You know, what do we want to renew?

What do we want to make new again? And I know one of mine, I know this will shock our long time listeners, but I really want to renew my health and fitness. I talked about this off and on and I go in spurts and I do really well. And then I'll take like a few weeks or a month or two and just slack. And it's like, then I have to start all over again. So I want to make new my commitment to my health and fitness. And again, this isn't about a weight or a jean size. I actually don't even own a scale and haven't for like 20 years because it wasn't healthy for me, but at my age, it really is about health, it really is about keeping my heart in good shape, keeping my bones strong, keeping my muscles, you know, functioning, you know, things are getting harder. And as I'm still doing home projects here, I'm I'm seeing how much more difficult they are as my muscles, you know, atrophy because I don't use them as much as I used to. So that is what one of the things one that I want to renew is my commitment to my health and fitness.

Yeah. You know, I like that you said that commitment, that's huge because that's where we're gonna see real change, commit to something and I think a lot of us do the New Year's resolutions more from an emotional standpoint than an actual commitment to ourselves and what ends up happening is we'll do it for a few weeks or a couple of months and then we slack off or we give up altogether, like Yeah, well, yeah, try again next Year when I don't even do new year's resolutions, it's so funny. I stopped I stopped doing those also many, many years ago, like, I just like, why is January 1? I mean, I get it the first day of a new year, but it's like you said, it's emotional, like we get caught up like everybody else. So this is what I'm gonna do this year. And then, you know, it happens for a few weeks and then nothing happens. You can start December 21, 8 they can start whenever, you know, I actually was thinking a lot about it. This last june when I turned 40 I started thinking about it a lot about it then, like, what do I want my year to look like, what do I want my 40th year of my life to look like, but like you said, to make new again, some things have kind of gotten complacent, You know, maybe it's a certain relationship, maybe it could be your marriage, maybe even at work, maybe you could have gotten a bit complacent at work, or even in your social life with friendship, there's a lot of different areas of health, obviously I skipped that one, but that's pretty common for a lot of us to get complacent with our health and it is, it's just recommitting and making new again.

And so today we just wanted to focus on that a bit because as we're starting to kind of get into that mindset, what will help us have that lasting change? What will help us have the comm commitment to making whatever area you choose new again, you know, and we all have something I know for myself too. It's even just having the habits again, the healthy habits, you know, with stress and Children and situations, the business even of the holidays, it's easy to get off of a good routine and routine. I fight it, fight routine and consistency and structure, but I need it. I've learned over the years how much I really need it and that even goes with my health, whether it's making sure I'm drinking plenty of water throughout the day, whether it's making better food choices, which I've actually been much more intentional of in the last few months, but um even in the morning routine, I know I've talked previously on the podcast about a morning routine is really sets the precedent for the day for all of us and so is my morning routine helping me, Is it causing a little bit more stress because I'm frantic.

Am I prepared for the day, all those things, right? So that's something I wanted to get back in the habit of, again, habit, that's what I want to make a new again and also exercise, you know, and again, same thing. It's not necessarily about the way, it's just the habit. I know, even as I'm getting older, I just need to have the habit of doing these things. Just make it a lifestyle, not just something I do when I have time, but making it a lifestyle and that's what's gonna help throughout life, right? Just having that habit being committed and consistent and that's really what's most important and and what we want to talk about today even is the mindset behind it because really our mindset is the driving force on whether we will be committed and be successful. Yeah, absolutely. Because we can make the commitment right, we can decide I'm gonna make renew this and I'm committed to it.

And then there's that part of our brain that if we don't learn how to manage, if we don't manage our mindset, it will derail all our best laid plans. You know, there's that part of the brain that wants to keep us safe and comfortable and use the least amount of energy possible, conserve energy, seek pleasure and avoid pain and we make these commitments, like I know for me going to the gym is not my favorite thing to do, I've talked about this over and over again and my brain will always tell me why it's not a good time to go right now right now I have work to do and well now it's raining or you know, there's always a good reason why it's not the right time to go the gym. And even I think about um, a client who wants to renew their marriage, you know, the brain could say, but they haven't done anything, they don't, they're not invested at all. It's just all me. I'm the only one who cares in this relationship and then we start common, very common, very common, not even talking about you even right?

So yeah, exactly. Friendship. So our brain is always giving us all the reasons why by our newfound commitment, our decision to renew something in our life is just not, we shouldn't go after it, right? And so we do have to manage our minds and we talk about this a lot. But if we don't learn how to manage our minds, if we don't learn how to honor our commitments regardless of what our primitive, our lower brain is telling us through using our prefrontal cortex and just honoring our commitments. You know when I make a commitment to you or to anybody else, I I hold to it right? Like if I like today we're like, well we're gonna meet at three. So I was here at three, I don't just say, well no, I'm tired. You know, I I don't want to use that energy, not that we consciously say all this, but I honor my commitments to my friends, to my husband, to my family, but when it comes to myself, it's easy to quit on ourselves, right? Like, oh, well, I have really good reasons why I'm not gonna honor this commitment today, but we would never do that to someone else.

It's just very exactly on yourself. Yeah, I know right? Don't quit on yourself. And it's so easy because like you said, well, there's so many reasons why so many good reasons don't hold our commitment for me. It's even I just don't feel like it right now. I really am susceptible to listening to my emotions and letting my emotions drive me, you know, especially if I'm tired or stressed or it's been a long day or oh, saturday is my only day of rest, whatever it may be, but it is very easy. But if we hold that commitment and we just again, talk to our brain right, we have to do a lot of talking to ourselves, but I would I flake on a friend? Do I really want to flake on myself? I know I feel like that in the moment, but how am I gonna feel tomorrow? Am I gonna be proud of that? Am I going to be glad that I made that decision? Am I going to regret it? And like, even just with running or going out on a walk, it can be a push for me to go out on a walk, especially as the weather got cold and so, but there's never been a time I regretted going on a run or ever.

I'm like, wow, I'm so glad I did that. But sitting on the couch, I regret it all the time when I, I don't do it, I did it again another day went by and I told myself I'm going to walk around and I didn't do it. Well let's talk about that because it is our feelings, right? Get in the way those emotions and the stories behind that. Like I heard you say saturday's my only day of rest and so somehow exercise or whatever, I think that's what you were talking about. But whatever it is that you had said you were going to do, but then didn't do it because it's the only day of rest. Somehow the story was, well, if I do this, I won't rest. But the truth of it is when it comes to exercise or even doing things around the house, I find for myself, I rest a lot better when my house is clean. So even though I never feel like cleaning and it's my day arrest, I know if I just spend those 20 minutes because sometimes it really is only time it sometimes just because it's the two of us, it's literally five minutes, five minutes to wipe the counters and put a few dishes in the dishwasher, I mean, boom, done.

But we have to learn that? Our feelings are created by the thoughts and the stories we tell ourselves and so yeah, I can be feeling tired. Yeah, I can be feeling bored restless. I don't know. You fill in the blank of what your feeling is that's causing you to flake on yourself or to not honor your commitment. And it goes back to the thought or the story that you're telling yourself, that your head is telling yourself and that's where the management starts. That's where the mind management starts right there. Exactly. And knowing that when we become I'm aware of that, then we can challenge it. Right? So, okay, this is what I'm feeling and again, like talk to your brain, you know, I mean, I remember my aunt would talk to herself all the time and as a kid, I thought that's strange. That's so weird. I do it all the time. I do whether it's out loud or in my head. But I have to talk myself, you know, talk to myself all the time. And I have to challenge those thoughts uh constantly on a daily basis, all throughout the day. And one thing that's going to really help us stay committed and be more successful and get the results that we really want is understanding our why.

Knowing our why is crucial if we really want to see any kind of a change. And again, we need to be aware, that's really the starting point. What thoughts are driving me, What thoughts do I listen to? What thoughts just pop up when I say, hey, you know, I want to go on a walk today. What's the first thought that pops up right after that, that it's cold? I don't want, it's gonna be forever. I have to take the dog, you know, like oh, negative things that keep me Yeah, but I can change those thoughts and knowing that right, If I listen, okay, those are the thoughts that come up. I can't change it. I could be like, yes, I do feel that way. I'm not really feeling in the mood to do it. It's cold. Yeah, I have a jacket. But on the flip side, am I going to be glad I did it? Am I going to be proud of myself? Am I going to feel better? Am I even with exercise? Am I perhaps going to sleep better? You know, all those things. So you have to challenge those initial thoughts that pop up that's just in the core, right?

That those are the thoughts that are hard wired in our brain that are going to keep coming up and just challenge it and intention intentionally choose to think different and a lot of times it is just more positive, Just try to think a little bit more positive, right? And reminding myself of last time, hey, how did I feel after the last time I went on a walk or a run, I felt glad I did it. I'm really glad I did. I felt good. I feel good about myself. So let's let's keep following that path. Yeah, it's so true. I mean, I think about my go to thoughts are I don't have time and I'm tired. Like what whatever it is, like, oh, I should go clean my office, I'm really tired and I don't have enough time before dinner, right? Like those or before lunch or before I need to take this call or whatever it is. Those are my standard default thoughts that come to me immediately. And I like that point of challenging. Is it true that I don't have time? One of the tricks that I've played with myself. I love it is I'm like, I'm just gonna do it for five minutes.

Like who doesn't have five minutes, right? Like I'm just gonna clean the house for five minutes. I'm just gonna go for a five minute walk. Like really this this works wonders for me. And seriously, if I just do walk to the mailbox and back and it's only five minutes, you know what, five minutes is still better than zero got me out there, but almost 99% of the time I'll go the extra 20 minutes or I'll finish the project or I'll finish whatever it is. I said I wanted to do it, but I tell my brain, listen, listen self, you're only going for five minutes and I even set a timer so that and and then because I'm so competitive then I'm like how much can I get done in five minutes? Like if it's cleaning or something like that around the house, then I'm gonna do it at super speed because I'm so competitive and I want to feel like look how much I did in five minutes. But that Works for me like almost all the time, five minutes, I'm just gonna do it for five minutes. I'm just gonna work out for five minutes. I'm just gonna clean for five five minutes. I'm just gonna organize for five minutes.

I'm just gonna write its chunking it down, right, chunking it down to smaller steps that are manageable and don't feel so overwhelming. And when you think about it it does kind of seem silly, right? Like five minutes. I'm gonna set a five minute time to see what I can do. But sometimes that's what we have to do. Yeah, because our feelings are I don't want to do it. So my feeling is I don't have time but I always have five minutes, it's when we start getting to that like the gym for me, I start calculating the travel time and then I usually go with my husband and then the signing in time and then going into the locker room time, it's a really big jim and then I have to walk up the stairs, you know it's like an hour and a half? You know? And so but I can go outside and walk my brain my brain because if you ask yourself, why don't you feel like it? You know we know we can't live by our feelings or never get anything done if I lived by my feelings. But my excuses are I don't have time and I'm so tired. And the truth of it is I have more time than I've ever had. I'm an empty nester.

I mean work and I have other responsibilities and volunteer and stuff but I have a lot of time actually. So I think you're telling myself actually you have how we use our time. Yeah. And then you know well and I like how you brought up the excuses because we do that. I mean we have excuses or if you like to think of it as re reasons not to do something right? Not to not to go clean or not to go exercise. And if you happen to listen to our last episode. We talked about excuses, right? So we talked about the man at the pool who was an invalid and jesus asked do you want to get well and he gave all the reasons all these legitimate reasons in his brain that he try truly believed caused him to not get well, you know and keep him in the same place as he was? Pretty soon. 38 years goes by. So how easy is it for us if you look back, how many years have you been telling yourself that?

Oh, you're going to reconnect with that person? Oh, this relationship you wanna you want to try to improve or oh, you're going to start exercising and you want to lose that £10 of baby weight 15 years ago. You know, this, this is me speaking from experience, but how quickly time passes and when we look back, it's man, I did it again. Oops, I did it again, right. And so really like kind of recapping what we've talked about, recognizing what thoughts are coming up, what thoughts pop up about it. You know, what are the reasons or excuses that are keeping us back from our goals and what is the why? Understanding your, why that is going to be crucial. Like for myself, just with having healthier habits and routine and exercise, it's I wanna lower my stress level, right? Moving our body helps with that eating right, helps with that. Um Having a morning routine helps with that because it sets my day off right?

And being prepared for the day, whether I need to wake up earlier, maybe I need to make lunch the night before, but just being more intentional because when we live by default, we're going to keep doing the same thing, There will not be changed, There might be for a little bit temporarily, but then we're gonna be right back in the habits that we've been doing for years. That's exactly and that's you said a great word default and that's how so many of us live our lives. But if we want to have a renewal in some area of our life, if we want to make something new again, we can't live in default. There's a quote and I can't remember it word for word now, but it's like the same kind of thinking isn't going to get you into a new way of living something to that effect. Like you've got to change your thinking to get a new way of living? But there are a few things like if if you have a pen and paper, write this down. I think what's really important is what do you want to renew, write that down Because I find for me putting things in writing really makes it real. I keep a running tab like on my nightstand.

I have this little calendar one. So I know what day it is. But then I write things on it too too. So I don't forget. But three so keeps me focused on what it is. I'm trying to go after the commitments I've made to myself. So what do you want to renew? Why why do you want to make this area this aspect of your life new again. When are you going to do it? Really? Put the time frame there. like I'm gonna do it this week or I'm gonna do it Wednesday. I'm gonna do it three times a week. I mean be specific and then how like how are you going to do that? So for me I shared I really want to renew my health and fitness and I am going to commit to exercising five days a week even if it's five minute, It's like I'm not gonna be hard on myself if it's just five minutes five days a week I'm gonna do something. I'm gonna aim for a minimum of 30 minutes because that's what they suggest you do and also make great food choices and one of the things the last few weeks we've just been traveling and thanksgiving and so I haven't done my regular grocery shopping.

So just kind of been a leftover of mishmash. And my husband is the king of snackers and he snacks on all things carbs. So our house is just inundated with crackers and chips and you name it. And so if that's what's around that's what I eat. I literally going to the grocery store in the morning. But for me to commit not making excuses of why I don't have proper food because these days we can order it online. There's no reason that I didn't I just let it go and I was like I was back to my I don't have time, I don't have time but actually I've had lots of time. So so the what, why when and how write those down. It really makes it clear and keep it somewhere where you can see it constantly is a reminder and then honor your commitment to yourself, honor your commitment to yourself friend. Well, I don't know about you, Claudine and our fellow listeners, but I feel inspired. I know I'm ready to find some other things to renew. We're gonna renew our kitchen backsplash hopefully next week on a funny but true side note it's houses fairly brand new, but from day one, we've always intended to replace the backsplash and we've just been kind of stuck like tile, what tile?

And then all of a sudden we were watching this movie and we decided we're ship lapping the whole thing. It goes with the style, my house. It's something we can both do in a day together. So hopefully we're going to do it this week. My I'm committed to doing it this week, but I haven't gotten my other half on board with that, but hopefully before the end of the year, but we want to renew the backsplash of our kitchen. It's a project that we literally almost a year and a half have talked about and we actually have tile samples, but just have sat on it. We just got burned out. We got to that point where we're like, we don't want to do house projects anymore, but we do need to just finish this one and we're watching this movie and we're like, that's it, that's it. That's the look. So there you have it. We're gonna renew that well. Good. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I definitely don't feel super inspired to do home projects. I mean I do, but I don't have the time right now. I thought I was gonna come over next week and help you with that. That would be lovely. That would be lovely. Anyways, on a serious note, friends, thank you so much for tuning in and we hope that you also feel inspired as you start thinking about areas in your life, you want to renew relationships, health, um whatever it may be for you, but we appreciate you tuning in with us week after week.

And again, like we really both Claudia and I wish you the best we are here. We want to offer our support as well with some of these things with renewal. It can be hard. It can be hard. We can feel stuck. We might not know where to start and sometimes we need just a little extra support and help. So please feel free to reach out to us, Claudine Claudine Sweeney dot com and Ashley at mind over chaos dot com. And we ending this new year 2022 ushering in a new year. We just wish you the very best and we would love to get feedback from you as well. If you wanna leave a review on the podcast, that would be most appreciative. And we just love hearing feedback from our listeners and we wish you the best this new upcoming year. Take care. Alright, everyone, thank you for joining in on our conversation today. Here on the Rice. I've been shine podcast. If you haven't already, please take a second to hit that subscribe button. So you never miss an episode and while you're at it, share this episode with a friend who you know it can bless today.

If you want to visit us as well on our websites, you can catch Claudine over at Claudine Sweeney dot com and Ashley at Mind over chaos dot com. Our links are in the description. We also have some free resources there for you as well. So remember ladies, no matter what you are facing in life, it is never too late to rise up and shine and live your best life.

160 A Time to Renew
160 A Time to Renew
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